Fran Sea

at the ripe age of 25, i believed my frontal lobe has developed enough.  as of last year, i had a crush, it seems fine last year, but as i am 25 now, i am afraid crushing is childish, (it's not, i know but i am in constant battle with myself, so this is me problem) as of now we both are 25, someone's going to get older. and when i have a crush on him, i do think of it as a long game as i always think. but me vs me thinking omg being 25 is a bit old to have a one-sided crush, listen to enough for you by reality club while reading this feels like time is running so close to me i got overwhelmed. maybe i want to move on in a midst of i will still be thinking of you in the back of my mind, because let's be honest, i'm the top 1 for being worst at moving on. there's so much factor of to why i wouldn't want or mind not moving on, (me vs me again) but i think i will be perfectly fine. (this is me hyping myself if love has never crossed out path, because it just seems ...

flowers are blooming, hearts are restoring, i might have a crush on somebody who i am not sure the status of but all i know available (so far) and i will do my long run crush because it is been a while to be this giddy and secretive.

i wanted to love again  i want a genuine love and i want to get my heart breaks, shatters into pieces... sadly i know i can truly love once, and i've loved, even it was unrequited, one sided. i still did with all my might. and being brokenhearted is crushing feelings, with every horrible thoughts. that was the last time i feel emotion as big as that. and as crazy as it sounds, i just want to feel like that again. i am sure being in love and love itself is a great feelings, but i don't miss that feeling. but mending your own hearts is the coziest feeling. so i want a genuine love then a heartbreak!  (i used to feel like this but with different motives to not feel like other people won over me just because i feel feelings much greater than them, but now i just truly wanted to experience heartache again, at least i'm not numb, i just want someone true & right to break my heart  ♡ ) (p/s: my friend do not condone the break my heart part, so i just want someone true & ...

 romance is so dead to me, like i love love but what if i can't fall in love? (dramatic but concerned but really real concern tone)

 this might sound dumb, but that is me but i feel like i am ready to love again not insisting i ever stopped but i just want to love someone new getting to know them, learning their habits, their interests because i always believe you can learn to love someone but of course it will be the genuine type of love but i am not looking for actual commitment like i want to love someone but we don't have to get married  i am not ready for that, i feel like it's a little forward thinking now that i used to imagine having a future with guys i dated it doesn't feel nice to not be reciprocated and be disappointed also in the back of mind, i need another relationship and break up scene for me to feel better because i just don't think it's fair that i feel like i am settling down straightaway  because i don't like the feeling people who wronged me having a power over me but we don't know fate  (moment of realisation here i know i sound like i am optimistic to get to know ...