new pages

 this might sound dumb, but that is me

but i feel like i am ready to love again

not insisting i ever stopped

but i just want to love someone new

getting to know them, learning their habits, their interests

because i always believe you can learn to love someone

but of course it will be the genuine type of love

but i am not looking for actual commitment

like i want to love someone

but we don't have to get married 

i am not ready for that,

i feel like it's a little forward thinking now that i used to imagine having a future with guys i dated

it doesn't feel nice to not be reciprocated

and be disappointed

also in the back of mind, i need another relationship and break up scene for me to feel better because i just don't think it's fair that i feel like i am settling down straightaway 

because i don't like the feeling people who wronged me having a power over me

but we don't know fate 

(moment of realisation here i know i sound like i am optimistic to get to know people, i really do but sometimes people are so out of touch and just have a weird way of expressing themselves that i often do not like to associate with)

otherwise learning about someone, and letting someone get to know you can vulnerable and humbling

(okay i don't know what i miss now)

(future me said i sound sane, i still am not sure about commitment but other things could be done, i don't know how much i actually trust people when i said i don't because in reality i easily do)